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20 Ways To Ask Why Without Asking Why

How to indirectly but effectively get the answers you need.

Tia Loehnert, CCBA
Product Coalition

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The word why against a pink-colored background
Photo by Ann H

If there was a single question that almost everyone avoids asking in business settings, it is the question “Why?”

Why is that? Wait — don’t answer that yet.

You’ve probably heard about the 5 Whys. Quoted often, yet rarely implemented (except that time my husband tried it on my teenaged son…)

I remember being in a meeting at a former place of employment where internal politics were intense, and I specifically recall a leader recommending that we not ask our stakeholders why directly. According to this leader, asking why could be considered offensive or pushy.

At the time, I thought that strategy was weak and wasteful. The shortest distance between two points is a straight line, right? Well, asking why is the straight line!

Today, I still firmly believe in being direct, but I also understand the hesitancy to poke the bear. “Why?” becomes an unnecessarily risky question when it’s not asked in the right way.

My observation is that many people avoid asking why because many people don’t like to answer the question why, and that’s because it forces transparency, which creates vulnerability. Without trust, vulnerability is dangerous. Ever…

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